REPORT FROM SIS. LOKE SIEW FONG
My first contact with vipassana meditation was around 19 years ago after some basic exposure and learning of the technique from Sis. Gin’s classes at the original SJBA centre. I had also attended one weekend retreat at that time but my commitment to the practice lasted for about only 2 years. I became fully engaged with work commitments and eventually left to work overseas for almost 12 years. While abroad I did not get the opportunity to even attend any Buddhist talk so you can say I had completely abandoned the practice of meditation.
I had always thought that whatever meditation skills I had learnt in the past would have been forgotten after more than a decade and I would need to start all over again. However, to my surprise, I discovered otherwise when I finally went back to Vipassana practice by attending a retreat, 11 months ago. Not only that, but whatever skills and mindfulness developed in the past came back in full force and I was even able to further sharpen my concentration. This was truly amazing to me and so similarly, I reasoned that, it must be true that the insight knowledges that one gains through vipassana can be carried over to our future existences.
So it was with a strong sense of urgency for the practice that I was able to make time for this recent 10-day retreat with Sis Gin and others at Nirodharama Meditation Center in Ayer Tawar. It was a very interesting retreat as I had new and very clear experiences almost everyday of the retreat until the 8th day.
This time I noticed that my concentration had improved further and the objects became very clear. I was able to pick up more subtle mind and bodily “happenings” which I was not able to notice previously. Somehow, it gave me the impression that everything occuring at any moment is just consisting of a rapid flux of aggregates, and how much one can accurately realise their occurrence would depend on how accurately one can note... or rather how concurrently. It is like we are trying to keep up in being aware of whatever is happening at progressively shorter and shorter moments of the time frame which we refer to, as the ‘present’.
Another thing I found fascinating was that whilst I was noting the many degrees of intensity of painful sensations, or even in the very noting of hearing or touching consciousness, I experienced several waves of rapture (piti) and even bliss (sukha). I felt so “charged up” with energy even late at night. At other times, I went through different degrees of domanassa which were new to me and I began to learn how to watch them as a mental phenomena so different from the physical sensations which I had already become accustomed to. I supposed my mind was not yet able to note with more equanimity. All the time, I realised faith and effort had to be aroused in big doses as they were found to be much needed after every “difficult” experience, and I was glad for the inspiring guidance from Sis Gin. Sometimes the experiences were really so strong that I felt mentally and physically drained of energy. She supported my practice by giving me the confidence and courage I needed to meet face-to-face with whatever stressful and dreadful experiences I encountered.
On the 8th day of my retreat, I accidentally sprained my left ankle but that was not to be the end of my retreat yet. I was surprised that I was not affected by this turn of events and could instead easily make use of those various intense physical pain in my injured ankle as my meditation object. At one point I just sat there on the chair and the mind was doing all the work of watching the sensations happening on their own accord. The close observation of those painful sensations also generated lots of piti and I was able to even see how the occurrence of piti caused some miraculous soothing experiences in my foot. Wow! With those experiences, I have to admit that I am fully convinced now about claims made by others, who have healed themselves from bodily illnesses through vipassana meditation. Mine was a clear-cut case of piti-produced materiality taking over. Having gone through all these life transforming experiences, I take this opportunity to encourage others to take up meditation seriously especially by going for retreats, for their own benefit.
Lastly, I would say Nirodharama Meditation Center is definitely a conducive meditation center in Malaysia as it is secluded, conducive and well-maintained with sufficient supporting facilities. Located at the dead-end of a road, amidst rubber trees and surrounded by an oil palm plantation, you hardly hear a vehicle pass by for the whole day. The peaceful surroundings make for very good concentration on a stretch. Moreover there was no talking among the yogis and they kept strictly to the retreat programme. Since I was easy-going and not on any sort of diet regime or restriction, I was contented with the simple meals served during my retreat period. Of course, if there is any special food or packet drink of a particular brand that one needs, it is advisable that one just brings it along as it is inconvenient to send someone to go and buy it for you.
If you bring no expectations with you whatsoever, but just to practise for practice sake and be prepared to do nothing else but practise to no end then I am sure goodness and wellness will be nearer to you!
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