My Experience at Retreat in Maha Karuna (27th to 31st August 2011)
After the weekend Vipassana retreat at KCBA, which I found, very tough I was rather hesitant to attend the 5 days retreat. I was not sure if I will be able to stay for the whole retreat. Nevertheless, on the advice and encouragement of other fellow yogis I decided to give it a go.
1st and 2nd Day: I found it rather difficult to concentrate for a long period and the mindfulness was not good. The mind kept wandering away and I felt sleepy most of the timeI felt pricking pain on the lower back and noted the pain there. However, the pain persisted even on changing the sitting position.
Walking Meditation: I was able to feel the heat element as I felt the coldness on the sole of the foot on the floor as well as the wind element as I could feel wind on the side of my feet. I also felt the tingling sensation/pulsating on the inner side of the foot on lifting, pushing and dropping.
After the 3rd day, my practice seemed to improve and the mind was generally much clearer.
During walking I was able to observe and follow closely the movement of lifting, pushing and dropping of the foot in a continuous manner. I felt vibrations on the inner side of the foot during the lifting, pushing and dropping process. When dropping the foot, I felt softness and then coldness on the sole when the foot came in contact with the floor. When the weight shifted onto the other foot, I felt hardness on the sole. During the standing meditation I felt the heel bones pressing hard onto the floor and air flowing under the sole of the feet.
In the morning sitting meditation I had a vision like looking at a wide screen of a busy street. It disappeared after I noted it. I was able to observe and follow the rising and falling for a longer duration compared to the 1st two days. I felt pain on various parts of the body like on my back, shoulder blades and legs. It was very painful like a knife cutting into the flesh. The pain disappeared after noting for some time. However a short while later the pain reappeared and I directed the mind to note the pain until it disappeared again. I also felt itchiness on the nose. I resisted the temptation to scratch the nose and noted it for some time until the itchiness disappeared.
Later, I had a strange experience - I suddenly realised I did not have any feeling on my hands, legs and body and my mind was very clear and feeling blissful. I felt the calmness all over my body. I was able to sit still without moving and stayed in the same position for at least close to one hour.
4th and 5th Day: During the sitting meditation, I felt sharp pain on the back and the pain disappeared after noting. However the pain reappeared after a short while. I also felt pulsating sensations on the fingers, right lower arm and right leg. After noting it, it promptly disappeared. In one of the sitting session, I felt warm in the upper part of the body which lasted for some time but eventually the body returned to the normal temperature. During the last two days of the sitting meditation, I experienced pain on several parts of the body and at times, the pain moved to other parts of the body from the original position. This made me realised that the pain is impermanent as it appeared and disappeared as I noted it continuously.
Summary
I am glad to have attended the five days Vipassana Meditation Retreat as I had a better experience than in the 2 days meditation retreat held earlier. I am grateful to Sister Gin for her guidance, interview sessions and the encouragement given by her. I would also like to thank all the brothers and sisters who have offered food dana as well as voluntary service in the retreat. Last but not least I greatly appreciate Ti-Ratana NBC, Klang for organising the retreat.
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